Viking Reflections: Intervention specialist Heather Kava ‘03

I pulled the car into our driveway. Opening my son’s door, I asked, “How was your day at school?” He grabbed his lunch bag, glanced at me and froze. 

“Mom, are Black people bad?” His confused, serious gaze caught me.

My 6-year-old boy was asking this somber question. I was instantly bewildered, sad and angry. How could he be asking this?

Standing in the driveway, I knew I had to answer. I felt the weight of importance this moment held. I swallowed and took a breath, and then calmly asked, “Where did this idea come from?”

After some questioning, it was discovered a peer’s parent believed this and, however intentional or accidental, had passed this belief to my son’s friend. This kindergartener now thought a person’s color dictated goodness or, the opposite, badness. 

I knelt in the driveway still clutching his school stuff and looked him in the eyes. I wasn’t prepared for this. But, unfortunately, teachable moments aren’t convenient or rehearsed. 

As we grow, we hear that hate is not innate — hatred is taught, observed and absorbed. As a student at Villa Angela-St. Joseph High School, we were immersed in diversity. We were blessed to be able to see our peers as friends, classmates and teammates, and we never considered their appearance as a barrier. There was a mutual respect and understanding, as we were all children of God and one human race. As a mother watching the innocence of my children unfold, as well as a teacher working with various ages over the years, never have I believed this more. Children hold limitless love, hope and innocence within their grasp — a grasp that inspires and teaches even the wisest adults.

I told my son that a person isn’t judged by the color of his or her skin, but by his or her character and what is in his or her heart. I told him about Martin Luther King, Jr., whose holiday was quickly approaching. I asked about some of his closest friends, friends who were of various backgrounds, ethnicities and skin tones. I asked him if those friends treated him kindly, made him feel special and made him smile, and if he enjoyed being with them.

He replied, yes.  

“Then their skin color, their hair color, their eye color, their native language, their facial features, none of those things will ever make them bad. They make them human — and beautiful.”

From that moment on, he became fascinated with history and influential people who fought to be seen as equal and human despite their differences. Knowledge is truly power. Learning about history can help to shape the future. I want to foster love and acceptance of all people because that’s what Jesus taught.

I believe wholeheartedly in Dr. King’s words: “Darkness cannot drive darkness out. Only light can do that.” As much as I wish I could have a nationwide impact and turn the tides of this turbulent world to peace, I will settle for teaching love and trying to live out the messages of our faith daily to my two young boys. The world will be shaped and lifted up by them one day. It’s never too soon to act. At 6 years old, they understand, they love, they can spot injustice. It’s my calling to raise children who will judge a man or woman not by the color of his or her skin but by the content of his or her character.

Heather Kava ‘03 is an intervention specialist at Community Montessori School in Liberty Township. She uses her Marianist and Jesuit background to educate for service, justice and peace and knowledge across disciplines to reinforce the Montessori philosophy of independence, cooperation and a responsibility to school, family and community. Heather holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Loyola University of Chicago and a master’s degree in special education curriculum and instruction from Cleveland State University. She currently lives in West Chester, Ohio, with her husband, Dan ’03, and her two sons, Daniel and Christopher.